“Embrace the things you can not change”
When I reached high school I abandoned the idea that my thick hair was beautiful or even resembled “horse hair” as my mother coined it. My first year of high school introduced me to the wide variety of hairstyles, weaves and every type of hair texture imaginable. I adorn the girls whom worn long straight weaves that flown down there backs. Pretty soon, I notice that I was not the only one who admired these weaves, the boys at my school seem to gawk more at the girls that wore their hair straight or in weaves. This did not help my self-esteem at all and I become more disgusted with my hair.
My mom never allowed me to get a weave, she seemed to love my natural hair more than me and I was banned on getting a perm. I do not know if it was only my mom who threaten to kick their daughter’s out if they got a perm (probably not African mom’s are ridiculous). So I was left with a thick head of hair and what seem to be no options to achieve the same straight styles I adored on my peers. I tried everything from buying Dax’s Pressing Oil and coated my strands with a thick amount of yellow yucky gunk in order to press it with the hot comb to achieve something that resembled a silk press. However all I was left with was fried, stiff and yucky hair that I had to end up washing out immediately. I eventually stuck with my box braids and cornrows and never wore my hair out (to school at least). My self-esteem suffered because I equated “good hair” with straighten styles/weaves and “bad hair” with natural hair. The fact that I never seen girls in my high school wear their natural hair also made me accept the “good hair” theory that still exist in our society and mostly black community.
By the time my 18th birthday rolled around I was begging my mom to get a perm. Surprisingly she said yes but only on the condition that I buy my own box perm and not complain about the results after. Easy deal! I was working and had my own money and of course I would love the results. Of course I did not do my research prior to relaxing my hair and bought the first box I saw: PCJ Pretty and Silky No Lye Conditioning Creme Relaxer.
Too Be Continued…